Some people choose their partners because they like handcuffs, roleplay, and the like. But many of us enter into relationships with porn history without even thinking about our porn history preferences. Or maybe you want to try out your porn history while dating. Having a “conversation” about fantasies and fetishes can be challenging. We’re trained not to talk about these things, and you may even be in a background where a specific type of porn history is considered “sinful.” Here are some ways to broach this topic without feeling awkward or weird. Being weird isn’t a bad thing.
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To be honest, many of us find it hard to admit that we have porn history fantasies, much less talk about them to someone. So, talk to yourself about your porn history. You can talk about your reflections. If you’re not too scared, write down your fantasies. Maybe you have fantasies that you’re not comfortable living out… that’s okay. Perhaps you’ve thought of alternatives or found that writing them down is a way to safely “ease” the tension of a pornographic story, so write that down, too.
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Find erotic works that express your fantasies. There are many. Excellent sources of information about the history of porn history include erotic anthologies, magazines, and even podcasts. Share this story with a partner who is interested in the history of porn history and ask them to do the same. After all, this goes both ways. Talk about why you were drawn to this story. Doing so creates some distance and is much less intimidating than saying what you want to say. You may find that you share fantasies that you don’t want to talk about with each other. Another option is to pretend that your fantasies were sexy dreams about your partner that you had at a porn history meet-up last night. (And be aware that your subconscious may show you something that turns you on in these dreams.
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In some cases, it can be not easy to talk about specific fantasies, such as b. “You want a porn history set in a graveyard. Instead, think about why it’s so close to death.” Are you in danger of someone breaking in? Is it because this particular fantasy is generally considered taboo? It’s safer to talk about your feelings, and it also helps you understand the intensity of the topic. For example, if someone breaking in would upset you, you can think about how you can create that fear. For example, this could be if you have watched porn history in the past while barely clothed, hoping to hide your nudity from imaginary voyeurs.
Be Respectful
Unfortunately, it’s very likely that at some point, you and your partner will reveal a fantasy that the other person isn’t interested in. Whether it’s something intense like bondage or something innocent like fantasizing about your partner in a red thong, you need to respect that if the other person isn’t into it. For most of us, unshared fantasies aren’t a deal breaker. If the other person wants to do something you’re not interested in, you must tell them respectfully but also value their trust in what you say to them, especially if it’s taboo.
Know that it’s okay to be a normal guy
When we talk about fantasy, we often talk about kinky stuff. Threesomes, spanking, bondage, voyeurism. That’s fine and completely normal because everyone has fantasies about porn history. But if your wildest fantasy is about a partner who appears in porn history wearing a black lace teddy bear (if you’re into men, go a little wilder), there’s nothing wrong with that. Being a regular guy isn’t dull and works well for many people. It’s okay if you or your porn-story partner is like this. It might not work if one person is wild and the other isn’t, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
Discuss the act with consent in mind
Some fantasies might not work in the real world. But if they do and you and your porn history partner decide to try something different in the bedroom (or anywhere else), remember that everything has to be safe, sensible, and consensual. This includes the viewer’s consent. Suppose your fantasy is to talk about porn history in front of a crowd and figure out how to do it without involving an actual crowd that wouldn’t agree with it. Discuss what you’ll do before you do it. Before you start, you should establish a code word that’s a signal you’ll give when you need to stop. Make sure you’re on the same page, and take things slowly. It can be challenging to talk to your partner about your porn history fantasies. We’re told not to talk about these things, and sometimes we’re told not to fantasize about them in porn, but we all do them. They’re normal, and talking about them with your partner can feel liberating, increase intimacy, and open the door to mutual pleasure.
